Limbs might not seem like a source of comedy, after all, they’re just an appendage.
But here are some of the
50+ Hilarious Leg Puns
I knew a guy who could wrap his legs around his head.
It was quite a ‘feet.’
Two legs got in a fight at a bar.
It all started when one ‘lunged’ at the other.
That leg is a real stickler for rules.
He just loves to toe the line.
Those legs got a week of detention.
They were caught ‘skipping’ class.
That leg asked his crush out on a date.
He really went out on a ‘limb.’
“I bet I could get my hamstrings to be 3 feet long.”
“That’s a stretch.”
Those legs had to move to a new town.
Now they’re feeling dislocated.
What part of the leg is always ninety degrees?
The right ankle.
What did the foot say to the leg?
You’re so hip.
Did you hear about the legs who went to college?
They spent all their time on the quad.
What did the leg use to cook?
A ‘walk.’
You should see the movie about legs.
It’s a real knee-slapper.
Did you hear about the knees who were filthy rich?
They had no salary cap.
What’s a leg’s favorite band?
The Shins.
What’s a leg’s favorite philosopher?
Knee-chi.
Those famous leg models broke up.
Turns how she was just hamstringing him along.
Why did Achilles go to jail?
He had violent tendon-cies.
I couldn’t afford the amputation.
It was going to cost an arm and a leg.
Someone told the actress to break a leg.
She did and was put in the cast.
You hear about the pair of legs who couldn’t tell a lie?
Not even a tiny fibula.
You hear about the guy who lost his legs on that glacier?
That’s just the ‘tibia’ of the iceberg.
I knew a woman with long legs.
Her secret was drinking calf and calf.
Did you hear about the leg who got his heart broken?
He should have ‘shin-guarded’ his heart better.
Why are those legs so depressed?
Their parents ‘splint’ up.
My father is a record-holding marathon runner.
I call him daddy long legs.
The spider got tired after building its web.
Now its on its last legs.
What did the legs wear to the beach?
A calftan.
What’s a leg’s favorite religion?
Shintoism.
What did the leg say to win his girlfriend back?
I ‘kneed’ you.
Those legs can never make it to work on time.
They’re always ‘running’ late.
Did you hear about the leg who went up to bat?
He walked.
What do you call a charity for poor legs?
Arch support.
“I’m so behind on my horseback riding classes.”
“Don’t worry, I’m sure the instructor will give you a leg up.”
How did one leg propose to the other?
Like everyone else, he got down on one knee.
Why did the leg go to the doctor?
He had a 102 degree femur.
“Did you see that runner with the beautiful legs?”
“That doesn’t jog my memory.”
The legs got kicked out of their home.
Since then they’ve been squatting.
Where did the legs put their newborn?
In a stroll-er.
“I can’t get these pants off you.”
“That’s because you’re pulling my leg.”
Those legs are great athletes
They always ‘lap’ their competition.
You should take that new karate class.
You’ll get a kick out of it.
What’s an insect’s favorite leg exercise?
The butterfly kick.
That leg is out of breath.
You can tell by his ‘panting.’
What’s a leg’s favorite vacation spot?
Capri island.
You hear about the leg who only wears denim?
She goes by Jean.
How do you wrap a gift full of body parts?
With bowlegs.
Those pants are total card sharks.
They always have pocket aces.
“That guy never wears work-appropriate pants.”
“He works hard, cut him some ‘slack’.”
That runner had quite the journey to the Olympics.
And you haven’t even heard the ‘calf’ of it.
What’s a leg’s favorite form of protest?
Organizing a stand-in.
Did we miss something? Then why not share those leg puns and knee puns you know in the comments below!
Jessie Stegner is an expert comedy writer and a stand-up comedian who completed her M.F.A degree in screenwriting at the California state university, Los Angeles. She also completed a conservatory program at the famous Second City training center (a premier school of comedy). Jessie Stegner later worked as a comedy development intern and as a diversity showcase writer at WIT.tv and CBS Corporation respectively. She is currently the part of "The Really Awesome Improv show" cast hosted by the second city works every week. Added Jessie Stegner also co-hosts and co-produces an all-female comedy show namely "The Ladies Room" almost every month at the Hollywood area. She loves humor writing and updates all her works at her blog jessiestegner.com