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Amish Bedroom Ritual: What it is, Its Origins, Rules, & Its Purpose at Age 15

People are obsessed with the traditions of the Amish. The insular community that preserves old-style customs and promotes strict adherence to religious rituals has captured the imagination of many.

But while people outside the Amish community- whom the Amish call “English”- may not fully understand their traditions and customs, learning about their many rituals should be done with respect.

It’s easy to get caught up in the shock value of their rules and routines. One of the rituals that fascinates people outside the Amish culture is their bedroom ritual commonly known as “Bundling.”

When non-Amish people spend a night in bed together, cuddling and talking, we think of it as romantic. But a similar practice is actually part of Amish culture. So, what is this Amish bedroom ritual? What is its purpose? Do the Amish still practice this ritual? Let us see everything about this unique Amish bedroom ritual that begins at age 15.

The Amish Bedroom Ritual – What it is, & Its Origins

The practice of Bundling is said to date back to ancient times and is inspired by the Book of Ruth in the Old Testament. It is described as a routine common in early Jewish cultures. In Amish practice, Bundling refers to the practice of a couple lying in bed together, fully clothed.

Though this practice does not involve sex, it is considered highly intimate. The couple spends the night lying together and talking. Their belief is this practice builds connection and intimacy without the distraction of sexual desires.

This practice is also referred to as “Bed Courtship” and is an essential part of the romantic process. While Amish people may be thought of as suppressing sexual and even emotional impulses, this ritual allows a couple to become close by physically lying together while getting to know each other.

The Purpose and the Rules of the Amish Bedroom Ritual at age 15

Premarital sex is strictly taboo in Amish culture, but this style of courtship involves a young couple (begins at age 16 for the boys and age 14-15 for the girls) lying in bed with each other, typically the boy coming to the girls’ family home and spending the night in her bed.

Amish Bedroom Ritual: What it is, Its Origins, Rules, & Its Purpose at Age 15
trinxter via Imgur

They are not allowed to cuddle nor can they touch each other, although they lie beside each other. You may think this sounds tempting for the couple, and that is part of the intention. It is believed that young people learn self-discipline by practicing this bedroom ritual.

In addition to building resolve and teaching the couple to delay gratification, this practice is also believed to encourage them to get to know each other on a deeper level. They are said to be able to bypass the typical temptations of sexual romantic relationships by focusing only on getting to know each other.

Bed Courtship and Resisting Temptation

The young couples who partake in bed courtship aren’t totally left to their own devices. To aid in promoting chastity, the young man is often secured in a full-length blanket sometimes compared to a sausage wrapper. The young lady wears a special dress or even a chastity belt to further discourage breaking taboo.

These types of accessories help the couple stay focused on getting to know each other in platonic ways. They are challenged to resist temptation but are also given some help in doing so.

While people outside the Amish community are often fascinated by these practices, Amish people are private and understandably don’t always enjoy others prying into their most intimate traditions.

Remember to treat people with respect and dignity when learning about their customs and cultural practices. What may seem strange to you makes perfect sense to them.

How Common is the Bedroom Ritual in Amish Culture? Do the Amish still practice it today?

Bedroom Ritual in Amish Culture? Do the Amish still practice it today?

It is believed that Uneheliche Beischlaf, or Bed Courtship, is no longer as common in Amish communities as it once was. This tradition is associated with the most conservative Amish communities.

Just as Amish people have adapted some of their traditions to accommodate the rapidly changing times, some communities have moved away from this tradition. Though people still practice the Bed Courtship ritual in the more steadfast communities.

It is unclear when exactly the Bed Courtship ritual fell out of common practice among the Amish. It is now only upheld in specific communities that maintain the very strictest codes and social standards. It is also unknown whether the abandonment of this ritual has resulted in an increase, or decrease, in marital happiness among the Amish.

It seems people in Amish communities are bound more by duty and shared responsibility than the concept of fulfillment in romantic and marital relationships. Yet as this tradition shows, intimacy takes many forms.


The Amish bedroom ritual – It is one of the many traditions practiced in Amish communities that involves testing temptation while getting to know a prospective spouse. Dating in the conventional community is awkward and confusing. The solution in Amish cultures is to uphold strict taboos about premarital sex.

Rather than dating in the way non-Amish people practice courtship, the Amish allow a couple to spend the night fully clothed in bed in the girl’s family’s home. They are encouraged to talk but any physical contact is strictly forbidden.

Perhaps this tradition helps people slow their passions and get to know each other. For some Amish, that is certainly the hope.

Angela Kaufman is a Certified Intuitive Consultant, Psychic Medium, Intuitive Empowerment, Life Coach and an LCSW. She is an amazon published author and was Featured on several shows like Discovery Channel’s A Haunting, Echoes from the Past (2007) 14 Degrees: A Paranormal Documentary, Tune In to Wellness Today with LisaMarie Tersigni, and Empowering Entrepreneurs with Melissa Carter as well as numerous radio interviews. She is the author of Queen Up! Reclaim Your Crown When Life Knocks You Down - Unleash the Power of Your Inner Tarot Queen and also co-authored three books on metaphysical spirituality (Sacred Objects, Sacred Space; Everyday Tools for the Modern Day Witch | Wicca What's the Real Deal? Breaking Through the Misconceptions | The Esoteric Dream Book; Mastering the Magickal Symbolism of the Subconscious Mind). Angela regularly conducts workshops, the Inner Queen coaching program and loves writing articles, that blend social criticism with spirituality.